I need Africa more than Africa needs me.

So I've tried writing this blog about 5 times now. This one probably wont be my wrap up blog either. I don't know why I don't have any words. I normally don't have any problem writing, but I've definitely had writers block ever since I got back.

Or maybe this trip was just too indescribable. Maybe there aren't words for what I experienced. Maybe I'll never be able to explain what happened to me all the way across the world. But something did happen. My world was flipped. I will never be the same. My heart was stolen and I'm not so sure that I want it back. I think it's needed too much over there.

But seriously, my heart is truly empty without my boys. So desperately I wish I could be with them right now. I can just picture them running up to me and consequently tackling me to the ground because lets face it, 15 to 1 aren't very good odds! But I'll take the bumps and bruises any day of the week to see their smiling faces.

I guess I've been a little down since I've gotten back because now my life feels empty. It doesn't make sense over here. My purpose just seemed so clear while I was in Africa and now I have no clue what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. I needed Africa to feel alive again. People were moving all around me and I just felt at a stand still.

Somebody at work asked me if I completed my mission. They were joking of course, but honestly my answer was no.

Our mission doesn't stop when we get back to the states. God never stops using us. He's given me a heart for the broken. And while yes, the kids in africa are broken, there are people here just as broken. My passion is to help people. God has anointed us to set the prisoners free. The sick are waiting. The homeless are waiting. The poor are waiting. The broken are waiting. So what are you waiting for?

I still don't know where my life is going, but I'm trying really hard to be ok with that. I still don't know if I'll be going back to Africa next year and that kills me. BUT I'm resting in the fact that God has it all figured out.

For now, I'm still praying that God gives me HIS heart for the lost. It's a heavy prayer, but I'm ok with that.

That's where my mission is now.