Find your Calcutta.

This very minute, it is the middle of the night for my precious boys. I wish I could say they were tucked into their comfy beds, with a mother's love warming their bodies from the room next door. But the truth is, they don't have beds. The truth is, the don't have houses big enough to have rooms. The truth is, the don't have mothers.

The first time I met them, back in 2008, they were what we call "the walking dead." They were lifeless. Their eyes were empty and hollow. BUT I knew that I was sent there that year to show them the life they were always meant to have. They didn't trust me at first because they had no reason to. Nobody in their entire lives had ever taken the time to earn their trust. So I started from the beginning. And I poured every ounce of love onto them until I was physically and emotionally exhausted. In return, I got hugs that were so tight that my insides were undoubtedly squished. I held hands for so long that I had to run along side of the bus because they wouldn't let go as they were leaving. I got tears from young men who were taught to never show emotion.

Year by year I kept going back because the Lord kept telling me His work wasn't done. I became employed by Family Legacy this year because He needed me to give more than just a few weeks to the place He has called me to.

This year when I asked my boys what they wanted to be when they grow up, do you know what they said? They wanted to work for Family Legacy too. I've loved these boys for 2 full years now, but God, He's loved them for an eternity. He only used me to be a tangible image of that love. And now there is an evident glow deep inside each of their souls that radiates out to others as they shine the Light.


Mother Teresa dedicated her life to the people that the rest of the world has forgotten about. She cared for the lepers and the widows and the destitute in Calcutta. She gave her life to Christ, and therefore devoted her life to the people who have been outcasted by worldly standards.

She always said, "Calcuttas are everywhere if only we have eyes to see. Find your Calcutta."


Friends, go seek your own Calcutta. It may be across the world, or maybe just across the street. Go and pursue it.

Oh, my child.

I've officially been in the real world for 2 1/2 months now. On one hand it seems like the summer flew by, but on the other hand it feels like years ago that I was in school. I think since I moved up to Dallas right after I graduated and started work, I was forced to change my mindset as a college student to real world very quickly.

But let me tell you, my real world is incredible. In my world, I get to stare at the faces I fell in love with in Zambia everyday. In my world, I get to help them get sponsored. In my world, I get to work with people who actually understand where my heart is, because their hearts are there too.

Finally, Africa isn't just a summer trip. I don't have to think about homework, tests, meetings and papers first. Africa is now first. Joseph, Gracious, Steven, Brian, Lyson, Blessings, Peter, Chrispin, James, Matthew, Alick, Alex, Francis, Smart and Anold are first. The children at the Tree of Life Village are first. The Community Resource Centers are first. Christ at the center of all of these things is first.

On the last day of camp my baby boy, Joseph, looked at me with all the longing in the world. He said, "Please, Auntie Kailee, promise me that you won't forget about me." Oh my child, how could you not know that I think about you everyday? How could you not know that I love you with every ounce of me? Don't you know that you mean everything to me? Don't you know that I will NEVER forget you?

But then that made me think. We're all a little like Joseph. Daily, the Lord pours His love out on us and yet we question whether or not He will remember us tomorrow. I didn't understand how Joseph could doubt my devotion toward him, but it became an all too familiar feeling when I later asked God the same question. He answered me, "Oh my child, how could you not know that I think about you everyday? How could you not know that I love you with every ounce of me? Don't you know that you mean everything to me? Don't you know that I will NEVER forget you?"


"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, nor angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow-not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below-indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

Our actions betray our testimony.

"And let us not grow weary of doing good for in due season we will reap if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

"For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another." Galatians 5:13

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness." Phil 2:5-7


Over and over the Bible tells us how we should behave. Over and over we repeat those words to others. Over and over we forget those words pertain to ourselves as well.

Our actions betray our testimony.

If we don't have actions to back up our words, what good is our word?

"But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently as his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like." James 1:22-24


This is a call to action. We know what we're supposed to do, now let's act on it. Don't worry about what you can't do, but be faithful about what you can.

You were given a week, what did you spend it on? What will you spend next week on?

A boy who lives up to his name.

Let me tell you about a boy who stole my heart over a year ago. His name is Gracious. One look at his face and you can't help but light up inside. When I close my eyes, I can see him running up to me with a giant smile, wearing his cute little checkered button down shirt and his arms spread open wide, ready for a bear hug. When he agrees with what you're saying, he answers in his precious voice, "yeah sure." He has been my little translator for the boys who don't know English for two summers now and he is always the one who jumps the highest when dancing to our songs.

Last year Gracious lived with his Auntie and Uncle so when I asked him how home was I wasn't expecting much of a change. But then he told me that he moved back in with his mom. I asked him why and as he hung his head, he looked at me with deep sorrow in his gorgeous brown eyes and said, "because, it's better if we suffer together."

Gracious. A boy who lives up to his name. He gave up a life where he was able to get by for a life where he has absolutely nothing. A life where he has MAYBE one meal a day. A devastated life. A life where he has no reason to smile, but because he knows the Lord loves him, he does. And he shares that smile with his mom, who can't afford to send her child to school. He shares it with the men who daily chase him away since he hasn't paid. He shares it with friends, strangers, and store keepers.

He shares it with me.

Every memory I have of Africa this year ends with this thought: I am honored to have gotten to spend the past three years LEARNING from the most beautiful and gracious souls I've ever met.

Well done good and faithful servant.

So the trip is over. After 40 hours of travel time and 2 weeks in one of my favorite places in the entire world, I've made it back home. The time flew by so quickly that it feels like I never even left.

I've been asked in my three years, which one has been my favorite. As I think about it, it's hard to choose one because in all three I've learned something new and have grown so much. 2008 was my first experience. My mind was blown about God's protection and guidance for me. My whole life I thought I was the one in control of my life but I realized that my purpose in life is to live for Him. I am His child and He has anointed me to go and proclaim the good news to the nations. In 2009, I was in need of a much gentler message. He wrapped me in His arms and abundantly poured out His love on me. I was reminded that He would never leave me. No matter what, He is always there for me. I never have to worry about being good enough for Him or whether or not my mistakes will make Him eventually turn His back. All He wants is our faith and in return He has given us life. And now 2010. This time I learned about JOY. When I think back on my time in Africa, instantly a smile is covering my face. But what I think is the greatest is that this has been my theme throughout the year. There is no greater joy on this earth then what God can bring us. And with that comes strength.

Focus on your giants, you fall.
Focus on God, your giants fall.

Isn't that an incredible message?! Especially for these children who have monsters waiting for them around every corner. All the odds are against them. All of the world doesn't care about them. But God says in Isaiah that He has called each of us by name and we are His. That includes the orphans. He calls them precious. He sees them as beautiful.

It is one of the biggest honors in my life to get the opportunity to love on these children. I know with complete discernment that God led me to them in the most perfect timing. Not only am I getting to love on them and encourage them, I am being loved on as well.

On the last night in Africa, one girl testified about her summer in Africa. She went on to thank each of us for coming and doing the Lord's work. She thanked us for being faithful servants, blindly following God. But when she said that, images of my boys flashed through my mind instead. Wholeheartedly they obey the Lord. Selflessly they put others first. They have nothing and yet they give everything. I see Christ in their actions.

I pray daily that I don't let the stresses of life preoccupy my mind. What an example my boys have set. Their giants are named poverty, starvation, abuse, rape, disease, death. They look the devil in the eyes every single minute of every single day and yet they choose not to see him. Instead they believe in the Lord's strength. Instead the choose to give to others who have even less than them. Instead they become good and faithful servants.